Amy Schumer and Philosophy by Charlene Elsby

Author:Charlene Elsby
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780812699944
Publisher: Open Court
Published: 2018-08-07T16:00:00+00:00

I Saw His Brains

Let’s talk about the brutal murder of Hector Morgado’s nephew. Linda and Emily have been kidnapped at this point, dragged into a van by masked jerks who plan to ransom them. Linda wanted to take the freeway back to the resort, but Emily’s superior wisdom led them along the path of putative waterfalls and rainbows. Meanwhile, Linda is also the only one to notice the men in the van beside them putting on masks. She makes one last-ditch effort to save them all, but nobody listens. Emily wakes up in some hole with her mother. Linda is reading a magazine that she chooses to believe is about some local farming practices. (Linda is able to bend space-time like that.) Morgado reveals his plot to ransom them, and Emily reveals her super secret PIN. Soon, they have to be moved and are shoved in the trunk of a car.

Because Linda watches Dateline, she knows that she can escape the trunk by pulling on some cord. It seems like a good feature to have in car trunks, just in case anyone ever gets stuck in there. So they jump out of the back of this car and hitch a ride on a passing truck. An Ecuadorian man chases them, but Emily and Linda reach the truck before he does and get on the back. Emily finds a shovel and thwacks their pursuer. For an off-screen while, they are apparently silent, but when the truck stops and tells them to get off, Emily wants to confirm her kill: “Ma, do you think there’s any way that, like, maybe that guy’s okay?” Linda responds, “I saw his brains.”

Is Emily responsible for his death? According to a theory based on the origin of action, yes she is. She was the one who picked up the shovel and thwacked him with it, hard enough for his brains to come out. Can we come up with alternative theories of personal responsibility to let Emily off the hook? Of course we can, and as a moral monster, she’s counting on us to do it. So we find someone else to blame, someone whose actions directly contributed to the murder. Perhaps we can blame the kidnapper himself. After all, if he hadn’t been chasing the truck in the first place, he wouldn’t have been within shovel’s reach for Emily to thwack him. But we’re also sure he was under orders from Morgado. If he didn’t make a solid effort to get those women back (and the money he thinks they’re worth), then he would have displeased Morgado, and would perhaps be in even more trouble. Maybe we assume that he made some kind of rational calculation and determined that he would rather have his brains thwacked out by Emily’s shovel than to return to Morgado empty-handed. We can speculate all we want, but there’s still a sense in which Emily is definitely responsible. She had the shovel.

When Emily and Morgado meet again, she apologizes for killing

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